


Five times Donatello has to come out and the one time he doesn't

by GalekhXigisi



Series: the same 3 donatello headcanons i adore in collection [3]
Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Ableism, Autistic Donatello (TMNT), Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Leonardo (TMNT) Has Anxiety, Michelangelo (TMNT) Had ADHD, No Beta, Nonbinary Michelangelo (TMNT), Trans Donatello (TMNT)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26475706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Donnie's trans and he needs to tell his siblings, friend(s), and other family.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT), Donatello & Michelangelo (TMNT)
Series: the same 3 donatello headcanons i adore in collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923205
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

“I think,” Donnie says in a low voice, “I think I might be a boy.” 

He’s practiced it in the mirror a million times, a whole entire feat and a half given how little he actually likes to even talk. His throat practically hurts from how much he’s said it, even if it’s in a whisper. 

He’s wanted to say it for so long now, constantly trying to find the courage to say it. It’s just him, his brothers, Mikey, and their father now. And he isn’t like Mikey, either, who spoke to Donnie about their gender identity for months before the boy had found a perfect label for his sibling, presenting the term  _ non-binary _ with a wide smile and gesture of presentation, excited to see their happy expression. 

He wasn’t like his other brothers. Donnie looked like a female replication of Leonardo,  _ Venus de Milo _ the name that went along with it, paired up with  _ Leonardo _ and made to fit the twins accordingly. Donnie never thought it had fit, even voicing it to his father about how much he hated it and the nickname  _ Vee _ and whatever else that came with it. However, it had hit a point where he preferred  _ Vee _ to  _ Venus _ and his three siblings had slowly come to terms with it. 

He really couldn’t be like Mikey, he’s realizing, who is comfortable with their name and doesn’t have to suffer through menstrual cycles. In fact, they had the besst health out of the whole family and Donnie couldn’t think of a singular time they were sick outside of the time they had all gotten horrid flus a few years back. Donnie had spent most of that time locked up in his room, after all, avoiding everyone thanks to the pounding headache. Donnie was almost always sick, having the worst immune system and somehow ending up sick at least once a week. Leo followed behind him with once a month sickness and Raph usually being sick once every two to four months. Donnie had only seen their father sick during hayfever seasons, honestly. 

He needs to tell them, though. 

The young boy pulls his hair up with a hair tie, the same one Raph had gifted him a few months back in an apology for ripping out a fistful of his dreads in a fit of anger. Donnie was fine with it, finding it ironic but forgiving his oldest brother all the same. They’ve long since moved past it, then being one of the only big fights they’ve ever had. He wasn’t like Leo, who Donnie fought with rather commonly. 

“I  _ know _ I’m a boy,” he whispers softly, smiling to himself as he finally without stuttering. His hands flap happily. 

He decides then and there that he’s going to tell them at dinner tonight. 

-

Donnie doesn’t get to tell them that night. No, because Mikey is the only one home, the thirteen-year-old presenting Donnie with a homemade pizza as they saw him emerge from the bathroom, calling out an excited, “Mel, I made pizza,” as soon as they saw him. If he flinched, it could easily be blamed on jumping thanks to getting yelled at so suddenly. 

Almost reluctantly, he slinks away from the bathroom, the confidence he had been building up during the day diminishing almost entirely at seeing his younger sibliung. He knew Mikey would never diss him for coming out, he really  _ does, _ but his stomach still tightens and his throat feels like there are hands wrapping around it,  _ squeezing too tightly. _

He plops down at the table, breathing slowly. He forces air in and out of his lungs. 

“Dad left with Leo and Raph, they wanted to go to the movies and Dad wants to go to the store after they finish the movie.” 

“What movie,” Donnie asks in a whisper, eyes peering up at them curiously. 

Mikey shrugs, turning around to offer up a plate of pizza, putting it on the table in front of him. “Some horror movie. They’re probably gonna be up all night because of it.” 

Donnie nods. He was bad to watch horror movies with, known to critique them to the point that it was annoying and he often got the boot during it, leaving him to watch them all alone. 

Mikey quickly grabs himself some pizza and sits in front of the other, smiling for a moment before his lips purse. “Is something wrong, Vee? You look kinda…  _ pale.” _

Donnie almost wants to laugh at that statement.  _ Pale,  _ he silently muses to himself. His skin was the darkest out of all four siblings, even with the patches of pure-white skin caused by the albino genes passed from his deceased mother. Leo had them, too, though his mostly centered around his arms, facially mirroring Donnie’s patch around his eye. However, his throat felt tight and he wants to cry at suddenly being put on the spot. 

“You don’t have to tell me, okay?” Mikey smiles supportively. “We can go watch a movie instead? One of Dad’s old movies when he first started acting?” 

“I’m a boy,” Donnie says in a whisper. 

“Huh?” Mikey perks up. “I didn’t hear what you said.” 

“I’m a boy,” he repeats, his voice a bit louder. Tears blur his vision. He closes his eyes tightly, arms coming up to protect himself as he folds in on himself. “I’m a boy and I like the name Donatello.” 

“Okay,” Mikey says quickie, “Donnie, do you want to watch a movie?” 

It takes Donnie a moment to respond and when he finally does, it’s a broken wheeze of a sob. He cups his face, choking down his cries as Mikey comes forward, wrapping supportive arms around the older Hamato. Years ago, their positions had been mirrored and Mikey is more than fine with supporting their brother. 

“How long have you known,” they whisper in a soft voice. 

“S - Since I tried to hel - “ He chokes on a sob, a sniffle following closely behind, “ - help you.” 

Mikey’s eyes widen suddenly. They had been  _ seven _ when they had gone to Donnie.  _ Five fucking years. _

“I’m so sorry I didn’t realize sooner.” 

“Didn’t want you to,” Donnie admits as he pulls his sibling closer. “Can we watch th - the movie, though?” 

“Of course!”


	2. Leo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie comes out to Leo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, warnings for physical abuse on Splinters' part, as well as general parental issues. It's kinda canon compliant but it's still Splinter slapping Donnie for "backtalk" and them generally fighting, as well as ableism from Splinter and his family (though they aren't in the actual chapter, just mentions).

With Leo, he doesn’t mean to actually tell him. It comes on accident, something that he hadn’t intended on taking on as a topic with the other until later on. However, it comes fast and Donnie gets thrown forward into it harsher than he thought he would have wanted to. 

Splinter, in all his angry father-like glory, had started yet another fight with his second oldest. It wasn’t uncommon, the two had such differing opinions and Donnie would always find himself arguing with the adult whose mindset was “If you look at me wrong, you’re talking back.” The boy couldn’t even list off how many times he’s gotten a backhand from the other, having taken Leo’s place sometime along his younger years as the number one holder for the most slaps from their father. 

However, this discussion had stemmed from the holidays. It was some family get together thing, which meant they would be seeing their father’s side of the family (Donnie’s only seen his mothers’ side a few times and he prefers them any day of the week). They were traditional as could be which often meant a few of them had a couple of things to say about the family, the children especially. Donnie loved his Gram Gram as much as he possibly could, sure, but the others liked to say a few things about Mikey and Donnie especially, given how little Donnie ever had to say about the family and how many times he wandered away, sometimes with one of his siblings accompanying them. 

And, of all things, their father had wanted him to wear a  _ fucking dress. _

And Donnie had lost his shit about it, stomping his feet and insisting that, no, he didn’t need to wear a dress, he could just wear what his siblings were wearing.  _ Mikey _ could wear the dress if they wanted to! But  _ Donnie _ didn’t fucking want to. His fists had balled and his hands had ended up shaking as a significant portion of whines left him, unable to form words thanks to his frustrations. That hadn’t helped whatsoever, his father telling him to “use your words” on loop. It only aided in his frustrations, as well as Splinters’, apparently, because once Donnie had been able to form words properly, he had stuttered heavily. He shook with a suppressed sob, unable to control the fluctuations in between whispers and yelling. It had been the last straw to break the camels’ back, apparently, because Donnie stormed out of the room with tears falling down a hand-printed cheek. 

Raph and Mikey had both been at Aprils’ for the weekend, so his options were limited as his father left the home. Donnie hadn’t listened to find out what he was saying, overwhelmed by the rushing in his ears. He slammed his door behind him only to let out a yelp at the noise of the door slamming. His cries were silent as his hands flapped and he forced himself to calm down from the meltdown that he knew was coming. He couldn’t touch his face without finding the stabbing pain in his cheek. 

Apparently, though, Leo hadn’t gone with Splinter like Donnie had suspected. No, instead, a soft knock sounds through his room, centering from around the door. Leo calls to him, “Hey, I don’t know if you can hear me or not right now, but I’m coming in. If you don’t want me to, just make a really loud noise or something like that.” 

Donnie wants to make a noise but withholds it. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if he’s left alone right now and his meltdown only seems to be edging on getting even worse so he’s more than just a bit thankful as his brother opens the door. 

“Hey,” Leo says in a soft voice as he inches forward, the same tone he uses when he knows Donnie is overstimulated. “Dad left to go to the store.” He makes a vague gesture at the bed Donnie had flopped on the instant he shed off his kneepads and other protective shit he’d accumulated over the years. “Is it okay if I sit down?” 

Donnie nods and sniffled, trying to wipe his face. However, he whimpers and flinches away once he touches his cheek. 

“Shit, Dad hit you pretty hard.” He frowns, moving a bit closer as he sits down but not getting up in the other’s face. “Do you want me to get you some ice or something? It’s all welped up.” 

Donnie doesn’t answer it, instead, finding himself asking him, “Why - Why’re you here - e - ere?” Leo wasn’t usually the one to check up on him, rarely there to see the after-effects of his fights or meltdowns. It doesn’t help that he’s basically their fathers’ best friend since he’s started progressively being on the end of their fathers’ anger less and less. It was a vast switch from what it used to be like, Leo fighting while Donnie was always attached to their fathers’ hip. Donnie knows exactly why that changed, though, so he just balls his fists and ignores that thought. 

“I’m allowed to help my sister out after she’s gotten into a fight,” Leo says with a smirk, triumphantly gesturing at himself. 

Donnie’s expression turns sour as he hears his twins’ words. “Don’t ca - ca - cal - all me that,” he snaps with a glare. 

“You  _ are _ biologically my sister,” Leo retorts with a soft snort, rolling his eyes at the other, “Mom popped us both out, didn’t she? You’re still my sister whether you like it or not.” 

The older's tears had stopped but he finds them starting back up as he launches himself forward, tackling the other and pinning him against the mattress, not caring as his tears leak down and onto the younger Hamato. “Take it bac -  _ back,” _ he snaps through a sob. 

Leo asks in a slightly panicked tone, “That we’re related?” His eyes are wide with surprise, having not expected the other to get so angry over a simple statement. 

“That I’m your  _ sister,” _ he screams through a sob, his head dropping as he cries. His grip loosens from where he had pinned Leo’s shoulders, body shaking. “I’m not a  _ girl,” _ he whispers through his cries. 

Leo freezes up, entirely still. He doesn’t seem to know how to react, the second oldest sibling now pinning him to the bed and having a breakdown-of-sorts, breaths coming out in wheezes. His only experience with someone coming out to him had been Mikey announcing that they were non-binary (which had been done through a little party orchestrated by Donnie) and April showing off pictures of her girlfriends Suniata and Cas with a smirk at Leo’s surprised,  _ “Two  _ girlfriends?” 

However, as he feels Donnie’s body go from tense to slightly less tense, he leans up, gently wrapping his arms around his sibling. He expects the other to tense up like they usually would, but they instead relax, clinging to him. He softly whispers, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be my sister. I still love you.” 

Their head buries in his shoulder, tears turning the fabric of his shirt wet. Leo doesn’t mind, though, not caring as his sibling cries. He can sit through it. Fuck knows Donnie’s held him through enough crying sessions within one lifetime, if not more. 

He gently rubs at the others’ back, not saying a single thing as he waits for his sibling to cry it out. It takes a while, but eventually, Donnie ends up sitting on Leo’s lap, head on his shoulder still as he sniffles softly. 

“So,” Leo says in a quiet voice, “Since I just lost my sister, do I have a brother or siblings in place of them?” 

“Brother,” Donnie answers with no hesitation, “Donatello.” 

“That’s the name you want?” 

Donatello nods gently against his shoulder, humming an affirmative, “Mhm.” 

“Who all knows so far?” 

“Just Mikey.” 

Leo is quiet for a few moments, his arms still securely wrapped around his  _ brother, _ not saying anything as he thinks about his next words. He’s slow to respond, but he eventually tells him, “If Dad doesn’t get you something like what Raph and Mikey and I are wearing, we can swap clothes.” 

Donnie lets out a wet laugh that’s followed by a sniffle. “I’m a lot thicker around the middle than you are, and a lot taller, too.” 

“I could bullshit it with Dad,” he says with a smile. 

He can feel Donnie gently laugh against him, the noise of it limited. “I think he would catch on pretty quick.” 

“Then we can ask Aprils’ moms to help up. You know how they are with Mikey. They’ll raise Hell for you, too, if you want to.” 

Donnie falls silent once more and Leo knows it’s answer enough.  _ Not yet, _ he doesn’t need to say. Leo already knows. 

“But, hey, we’ve still got a while before we have to do any of that, though, so...” His voice trails off. “What’d you want to do until Dad gets back?” 

“We could hit the telephone pole outside really hard with sticks,” Donnie suggests. Leo knows what it means. It means Donnie’s worn out and needs a distraction or something to drain him enough to be able to sleep, still full of pent up energy. Normally, he would do this with Mikey whenever they were both pent up, but Leo is more than willing to hit things with sticks like they used to when they were younger. 

“Yeah, I’m down,” he says with a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Leo used to bully Donnie for being a "crybaby" when they were kids, so that's only a tiny bit implied/mentioned in this chapter. i don't think I'll be making it big in this fic, but I have a few other fics that I'm willing to do so on. 
> 
> I really liked this chapter and writing them both. I hope this is accurate to their characters and if not, I am so sorry. However, I don't care enough to change it, so.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave likes and comments! If you particularly liked my fic, here's my Discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


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